I never have enough time to see all of my friends, all of my family, all of me. All of them matter yet I somehow always feel like I'm missing chunks of their lives. Thank goodness for Facebook that allows you to constantly creep but if you're like my dear college friend D, she's too busy to be updating on the internet so I still miss out.
D (and her husband T) have a beautiful home. I'm so very proud of them. It took me 2 years before I got around to seeing their home but I'm glad I finally did. D was always the one alongside me in college who stayed up all night till our projects were just perfect. She's never lost that drive and her home shows that. They just showed us the couch she sawed to fit down the stairs into their rec room. Most people just buy a new couch.
I came home to our disaster and I'm completely motivated to take on all the projects I mean to but never get around to. Problem is, am I the type? I've always felt "nesting" was a chore, a show off tool, somewhat of a necessary evil. When I put my mind to it, I'm rather good at it. I feel nesting is important if you're going to raise a family. D and T are working hard towards that and I have no doubt they will be amazing parents together. Speculation has always been that I'd be a mother one day too. The thought amuses me, excites me but also scares me shitless - and it made sense just exactly why today. I ALSO dream about travel and tales of other worlds not just paint colours, napkin rings and diapers. I married someone who is exactly the same way. I know a lot of idealists think you can do both (or even all of it) but with NMO I know realistically I can't. Between a career, constantly renovating/updating/managing a household, travelling and then wanting to be a parent - all whilst living with a disease, seems like pure insanity.
Suddenly prioritizing my social calendar seems like an easier task.
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